Monday, April 27, 2009

Impressions

I've been giving some deep thought to how I impact other people.

I guess, specifically, a group of friends.
Hard ones.
Sometimes, it seems like you just can't get through to them!
Have you ever had a friend like that?

Sometimes I feel like I can't give another ounce of myself to some friendships, because, well, because of several reasons.
#1 They just don't care.
#2 They take everything you say to them and throw it out the window.
#3 They don't give anything back to you in your friendship at all.

Then you go and ask yourself, "well, if that's the case, is it even a friendship?"

I've wrestled with this question for many MANY years.

There are even one or two friendships when I couldn't give any more of myself.

I was spent.
Exhausted.
Dried up.
Emotionally broke.

And so, those friendships have gone to the way side. Not really ending but just drifting.

There are some friendships though, that I don't want to let go of.
There is still hope.
At least, that's what I tell myself.

I was pondering all of this at the beach the other day. Laying in the hot sun, hearing the sound of children and seagulls all around me. The boys were off throwing the football, and I propped myself up as I silently chatted with God.

"Why? Why is it so hard to get through? Do they want me to talk to them? Do they want to hear my opinion? Or are they just going to say I'm being judgemental? Will they say "that's nice, but I want to keep doing it MY way!

I'm not sure which one will hurt worse.
Am I afraid to get hurt?
Oh, yes.
I am.

I'm most afraid of coming away from this friendship and not having left a mark.
Made an impact.
Offered change...
Or hope.

Then I looked around me at the beach.
10 feet in front of me was the whitest, softest, most pliable sand.
Right underneath of me though, was hard as a rock, compact sand.

I stood up.

I walked to the soft sand and sunk my toes in deeply.
I stepped out and could clearly see a foot print.
But, hmm, not really clearly. The soft sand fell back into it, leaving only an impression of a foot.

I stepped over to the hard sand.
....
...
Nothing happened.
Not even a scuff in the sand.
...
...
I started getting a little irritated.
"What is wrong with this sand?" I thought. "Why won't it let me leave my footprint?"

I stomped my foot. Nothing happend.
I rocked back and forth. Still nothing.
Finally, in utter frustration, I launched myself straight up into the air and landed on my two feet.

I felt the sand give.

I gingerly stepped out, and wouldn't you know it?

Footprints.
Clear.
Distinct.
Footprints.

In the glee of the moment, I repeatedly leaped into the air, slamming my feet into the hardened sand.

Footprint after footprint.
A defined impression.

I had my answer.

These friendships that seem so hardened, so calloused, they are just like the hard sand. It's not easy to make a lasting impression.

You must be persistent.
You must be forceful.
You must not falter.
You must not give up.

Because, eventually, you WILL leave an impression.


I don't want to give up, I just wish it was a little easier, that's all.

8 comments:

SMiLE ~ JESUS LOVES YOU said...

Wow!! That was a great post!! Really, I have had that problem before and this really brings me some new insight!! thank you! God bless~

katie beth said...

I agree with the comment above: awesome post.

I have friendships like this too, but I definitely hadn't thought about them in this way. Thanks for the encouragement, even if you didn't know you were encouraging me when you wrote this!

Callie Nicole said...

I like this post too - good points.

yentruoc700 said...

I love your points, Brittney, really I do, insightful and inspiring, but is it wrong for me to me say that I would have loved to see you do this?

steve said...

just remember this...your family will always LOVE you.If your friends are important to you, you will fight till the end to keep them. if not they will fall away. you may be the "best" of friends, but not everyone else is. that's what makes you the sweet spirit that you are! and i have to tell you, i don't know many people with that kind of spirit.
you have a talent to love people,and that shows where your heart really is!

Rebecca Louise. said...

I loved this post! Your;re right you can never giver up when somethings means a lot. Cute footprints! xxx.

OlyviaNoel said...

Excellent post! I have an old friend that has shut the door on me and it was good to read this for new insight on relationships.

Callie Nicole said...

This is a great post, Brittney, and a good reminder . . . I know I want to give up in friendships like that too, but you are right, it may be harder to leave an impression on those people, but you still can if you try!