Friday, September 5, 2014

White Picket Fences

We celebrated our four year "sandiversary," of being in the Middle East this month. The celebration involved keeping our heads down, trying to survive the insane heat and humidity, and just coping with day to day tasks of living overseas.

It reminded me of a question that gets asked to us very often.

"Don't you miss home? Don't you want to move back?"

The short answer is: Yes. We do want to move back.

The long answer is: Yes, we do feel a longing to live close to our family and childhood friends. We miss the familiar. The easy. The comfortable. We miss the "short," 9-5 work day. We miss the freedoms of speech, religion, and dress.

We miss holding hands and kissing in public.

We miss that our kids don't get to see us do that as often as they should.

We miss the community that a homogenous or semi homogenous Church family provides. (we have a great Church family here, but it is very fluid, changing often, and of people of many different cultures and backgrounds.)

We miss Thanksgiving with people that know what are Thanksgivingy foods.

We miss Christmas decor and a crisp in the air.

We miss having road trips and Starbucks that sell seasonal drinks.

I miss Target.

I miss college football.

Then there are the If Thens that I miss.

If we were in the States, Then my parents could come and help when we were swampd.
If we were in the States, Then we could find a reliable babysitter. That drives. Can I get an Amen?
If we were in the States, Then my house wouldn't be constantly covered in dust.

If we were in the States Then we would probably own our house.
With a white picket fence.
And green grass to play in.
And dry wall walls. Why I miss that, I have no clue.

But the fact is, we aren't. God has made His plan and direction on our lives very clear. We are to be here for now. We are okay with the fact that it is a flexible, ever changing thing. That we may be out here our whole lives. Or we may only be out here for this season.

Most days I don't even think about the white picket fences of my childhood dreams. I am in the present, with the ever present challenges of day to day life facing me head on. But also with the present day joys of raising my littles in a less commercialized world that cherishes the family unit. The demands by community involvement are far less than if I was involved in my hometown church and civic responsibilities.

But on those days that I do think about the white picket fence, it's because I long for stability. For love. For community. I struggle with homesickness and that ever challenging jealousy that comparison can bring. I see friends of mine buying homes or taking their kids trick or treating and I think of what I'm missing instead of what I'm gaining. I am faced with the decision of "Who should I invite to Thanksgiving this year? And will they know that sushi and egg rolls are not acceptable fare?"

My prayer for this season is to be content where I am. To enjoy the present with my little family. And to Be Still and Know that I am where He wants us to be. That's all I can really do, right?


Tami said...

I always love reading your posts and you know I can relate to so much of this. I am so proud of y'all for sticking with it and following what God has for you even when it is not always easy.

Unknown said...

Comp Time is part of eternity. . . according to Randy Alcorn. We believe that. Blessings and love,

Kim and Sidney or Mimi and Popi

Kelli said...

Good word, sister! Thanks for sharing your heart!

Kelli said...

"my home is anywhere, if You are where i am." Rich Mullins

you are right, sweet niece...when the longings get too strong, be still and know.

i love you all and so love seeing your smiling faces. keep smiling.

aunt k