Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Forgiveness and Stuff

Lately I have been thinking about forgiveness, and the healing that comes with it, or, at least, the healing that should come.

A friend and I had a real heart to heart about this recently, and for whatever reason, it has really stuck out in my head.

And, today, while driving through the beautiful foggy countryside, I got to thinking about it again. Thanks to "The Postal Service," a band that I like to listen to, the lyrics "you pull out the stitches before it is healed," or something like that, struck a loud chord within me.

The truth is, some people do not want it to be healed. They pick and pick at the stitches, until they are all pulled out, and the wound is open and possibly even rawer than before. Like the stitches, some people choose to take forgiveness and healing, and throw it out the door.

They like the raw.
They like the pain.
They like the ability to say "Look what you've done to me!"

Other people, desperately want to be healed. They take their wounds to the doctor, to be stitched up, and they have resolved to just let the stitches sit. For it all to heal.

And then, they look down, and they notice that the stitches aren't right. They are a mess. The doctor didn't take his time, and didn't do his best, and now, even though you wanted the pain to end, it's possible it won't heal!

In the same way, some people, who have been hurt or wronged, simply want to forgive and forget. Yes, independent of someone's regret, with God's help, we should be able to forgive and move on. Sometimes however, you just know, that if you could only get that person to apologize, to explain, to lead you down that road to forgiveness, it will be a much quicker process. But, the person who did the harm has to fix it correctly. Sometimes, after an apology, you'll look back and think "That didn't fix it! I still hurt! He did it all wrong!" And the pain is almost unbearable.

I'm learning that, with some things in my life, you may never get those "perfect stitches," no matter how desperately you wanted them. You might just have to hold the would closed yourself, and pray that God can work a miracle. Sometimes those "doctors," don't care about their mistakes, they can't or they won't fix them.

And sometimes, that is just how it is.

Did this make sense at all?


Callie said...

Yes, it did make sense, and I appreciated the stitches analogy. I had to learn how to forgive through a situation in which I was hurt, and the person who hurt me didn't really care. But whether that person admitted to being wrong or not, the Bible tells us to forgive each other (it doesn't say forgive each other only if the other person apologizes), and I realized that even though I was sinned against by that person, I was sinning against God by not forgiving them anyway. It's a hard lesson to learn. Good thought!
I ran across your blog recently and I've been enjoying reading it! I'm a Christian and a newlywed as well. Stop by my blog sometime, if you care to visit!

katie said...

excellent post.

I too have been thinking about forgiveness recently and I have the biggest problems with forgiving myself and allowing God to heal the wounds. I think I just keep slapping band-aids on a tear in an artery. I need to Lord to stop the bleeding and let it heal! Even if it is a little bit of a painful process in itself.

Thank you for this encouragement this morning. We know the Lord is good and faithful and that he who begins a good work (of healing!) can carry it to completion.

katie said...

P.S. I tagged you on my blog

Emily said...

Very wise words from a very bright young woman! I truly believe that God has given you the gift of wisdom, Britt. To come up with that analogy and get it at your age is profound! Trust me, I know way too many folks out there...including myself that have yet to get a grasp on the concept of forgiveness. I truly believe that real forgiveness comes from first an obedience to God in taking the steps towards it. The feeling from doing that comes later, sometimes many years later. God doesn't call us to understand it in its entirety. I don't think it is truly humanely possible to understand it. Thanks for the thought provoking post!

Amy said...

i can totally relate to what you are saying. We just have to give our hurts to God and pray for those who hurt us. Unfortunately I am still waiting for healing to come in my relationship. It makes me sad, but I know I have forgiven and so I will wait on the Lord and pray for restoration. Both people have to want it, not just one.

Kari said...